Making Some Changes This Year? Avoid these common pitfalls…
The New Year often brings a fresh sense of what is possible, a horizon of expanding possibilities. It’s a time when we have a bit of energy to tackle things that have been bothering us. On a health level that might be to try and resolve an unwanted symptom like persistent headaches, poor sleep, digestive discomfort, or nagging back pain. It could also be that you want to tick off a goal like learning to meditate, running a half marathon, joining the gym or learning a language.
If you are contemplating change then you may find the following suggestions helpful.
Who are you trying to impress?
Finding a goal that is meaningful and authentic is crucial. If you‘re doing things to please others or because you think you ‘should’ do something, then you’re starting off on shaky ground. Reaching a goal typically requires pushing up against resistance, if there isn’t a deep burning desire to reach it then when crunch time comes, you’re likely to quit. Not so if what you want is deeply meaningful to you.
Don’t go changing
It might seem counterintuitive but starting out on any ‘self-improvement’ process from a belief that something is wrong with you or that you are broken and need fixing is a recipe for disappointment. As the mindfulness teacher John Kabat Zin puts it, “wherever you go, there you are’. In other words, regardless of any changes you may contemplate, embark on or even achieve, the key is to continue to work on making peace with, accepting and loving who you at the same time as your making room for who you are becoming.
Find Ease
In Western culture we love a hero who comes up against impossible odds and through sheer grit, cunning and wit manages to overcome adversity and win. In the East, whilst they also admire such a hero, they also celebrate another way. One where instead of focusing on what is hard, you instead look for ease and flow and follow these threads to where they lead. It’s often said, ‘time flies when you’re having fun’, similarly when you’re doing what you love, hard work is replaced by effortless joy. Maybe running long distances is your bliss, maybe it’s watercolour painting, maybe it’s singing in a choir. Finding your flow allows you also to accomplish great things but with more ease and less struggle.
